What I learned from Marisa

Oct 2019 was a milestone month in many ways. Spending a week in London, attending the Rapid Transformational Therapy live session with Marisa.

Excited about a new direction, excited about the opportunity to make a difference in people's lives. Uncertain about the future, but confident that all will work out in the end.

So what got me to this point? Looking back at more than 20 years in the corporate world. Working in the financial services industry and later, brand and agency environments - I was fortunate to be involved in some very interesting and exciting campaigns.

I don't regret it. It was a journey of discovery, learning, observing human behaviour, how teams work and why certain teams and leaders are more successful than others.

I enjoyed the intellectual stimulation and most of the time I thrived, enjoyed what I did. Achieved some pretty extraordinary goals.

I was proud of my commitment to get the job done. Many nights, questioning myself - and no 12h00 is not the witching hour - 4h00 in the morning is!!

But it came at a price. The realisation over time that I lost my chutzpah, my energy, my focus. I was burned out. I felt drained. Left with no meaning or direction. It started to really bother me that the agency is trying to sell things to people, they do not really need and justify it - sugar, fast foods, consumables.

Deciding to do RTT was one of those gut decisions. Watching Marisa work, I learned way more than the rules of the mind, or the three things that everybody struggles with.

I was so used to looking for structure, processes, analysing the problem. And then it dawned on me. Marisa finds the simplest route to an issue. Simple but profound. We so wired to think complex is good, but simple is way better. With simplicity there is nowhere to hide. No lengthy discussions, analysing, justifying, checking, rechecking. Almost disbelief of how simple it is!

The second lesson was something I never acknowledged, never faced it head on. That internal fear of not being enough. It was like a light went up. This is real, this is true. So many of the late nights, angsting about work, doing the best was founded in this belief that I am not Enough. Again the simplicity. And feeling not enough was really the biggest contributor to my burnout.

Marisa’s quiet confidence is something I remind myself of every day. That sense you get: I am okay, you are okay. If you believe in what you do, no justification needed, no extensive reasoning. Again the simplicity: It is what it is.

I feel Marisa believed in the therapist before we even believe in ourselves. I am still on my journey of developing self-belief. A small, but meaningful proof that my journey is moving in the right direction is my decision and sense of comfort to work with women who experience anxiety (often due to abuse).

It was a major decision, and the motivation is a childhood friend, whom we knew had a hard time at home, but only when I met up with her many years later, did I realise how physically abusive her father was. I wish I could have done something for her. As she passed away unexpectedly a few years ago, I feel this is one way to honour her memory, for not knowing how bad it really was and making a difference for women in a similar position.

Mind Life Wellness, my therapy and coaching entity is based on looking after the Mind + Life to have wellness. Manoeuvring Covid has not been easy, but we can only look forward.

Mind + Life + Wellness encapsulates that our brains are involved in everything we do. We are able to achieve ‘Wellness’ if Mind and Life is in balance. Wellness is never static, it is changing, adapting because growth is part of Wellness.